


Breakthrough

by BirdOfHermes



Series: Under Pressure [4]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Avenger Reader (Marvel), Declarations Of Love, Dirty Talk, Dom Loki (Marvel), Domestic Avengers, Emotional Baggage, Emotionally Repressed, Established Relationship, F/M, Idiots in Love, Loki & Thor Friendship (Marvel), Love Confessions, Male-Female Friendship, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, POV Loki (Marvel), Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Praise Kink, Songfic, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, all the avengers are fine after infinity war and no one died because i fucking said so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-11 10:46:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17445434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BirdOfHermes/pseuds/BirdOfHermes
Summary: You've been going steady with Loki for a year now, and are still a part-time Avenger, but then the unthinkable happens: you accidentally blurt out "love you" to Loki during a phone call. You're absolutely certainly this is either going to cause a breakdown or a breakthrough for your relationship. Sequel to "Under Pressure" and "The Fight Before Christmas."





	1. Frosty

**Author's Note:**

> I DON'T EVEN KNOW Y'ALL JUST READ THE THING. xD

_“Sometimes I hate every single stupid word you say_  
_Sometimes I want to slap you in your whole face_  
_There’s no one quite like you_  
_You push all my buttons down_  
_I know life would suck without you_  
_At the same time I wanna hug you_  
_I wanna wrap my hands around your neck_  
_You’re an asshole_  
_But I love you_  
_But you make me so mad I ask myself_  
_Why I’m still here_  
_Or where could I go_  
_You’re the only love I’ve ever known_  
_But I hate you_  
_I really hate you so much I think it must be_  
_True love…”_  
_-“True Love” by Pink_

 

"What are you wearing right now, darling?"

I rolled my eyes. I shouldn't have been surprised. After all, he was the God of Mischief.

"I'm completely naked, except for the whipped cream." I'd said it with enough sarcasm to power an entire season of Whose Line Is It Anyway, but Loki still let out a little purring sound in my ear.

"How you tease me so, darling. I wish nothing more than to be at your side right now."

"Them's the breaks when you're an unofficial Avenger," I mused. "How's it coming?"

"Nothing too strenuous. I should be back by tonight. Keep the bed warm for me, won't you?"

"If I must."

He chuckled. "How fortunate I am to have such a fair maiden eagerly awaiting my return."

"Oh, the apartment's so empty without you, my prince!" I exclaimed in my best damsel voice. "Do hurry home!"

Loki snickered. "I owe you a smack on that lovely bottom of yours tonight for that one." There was a pause and then he snarled, "Will you quit giving me that ridiculous look, Stark!"

I choked on a laugh, half-horrified and half-amused. Tony had been doing his best to come to terms with our relationship lasting over a year. He certainly didn't need to hear that last part. "Loki! You're not still on the Quinjet with the others, are you?"

"...no?"

I buried my face in one hand. "I had better not be on fucking speaker phone."

"Cheers!" Nat said, confirming it.

"I just learned so much more about you than I wanted to know, Frosty," Tony sighed.

"I'm going to _rip your throat out_ when you get back, Loki!" I growled.

"What?" he sniffed. "It's nothing they haven't heard before."

"Look, we're coming up on the drop point anyway," Tony said, exasperated. "End the call, Khal Drogo."

"Do be a good girl for me, darling," Loki purred.

"Stark, do me a favor and give him a good kidney punch from me," I grumbled, happy they weren't at least around to see me blushing up a storm.

Tony chuckled. "Will do, Frosty."

"Touch me and you'll never touch anything again," Loki growled. Then, in a slightly softer tone, he told me: "I must go."

"Fine. Bye. Love you." I ended the call and turned to the fridge, grabbing the orange juice.

Then I dropped it as a horrifying realization poured over me as I replayed what I'd just said.

I raced out of my apartment, frantically searching the rec room. Sam and Steve were playing foosball. Vision and Wanda were curled up on the couch watching TV. No sign of him.

I raced down a flight of stairs to the gym instead. There he was.

"Ah, milady," Thor said cheerfully from beneath the weight of what I calculated was two-thousand fucking pounds. "Come to spot me, have you?"

I ran over to Thor. "Come with me. _Now._ "

He frowned, but replaced the weight bar on its holder and sat up. "Milady?"

I grabbed his hand, yanked him out of the gym, and pulled him outside of it to the patio where I knew FRIDAY wouldn't be listening. She had a few blindspots, as I'd come to find, and I didn't want this conversation accidentally on the record.

"Calm down, milady, what's wrong?" he asked when I finally let him go.

I paced back and forth, my heart battering my ribs as I tried to get the words out. "I--Thor, I just--oh my _God_ \--I can't believe I just--"

He gripped my shoulders and made me stop pacing, adopting a gentle tone. "Please just calm down and tell me what is the matter."

I brushed my disheveled hair out of my face and sucked in a couple of breaths to stifle the panic attack before it got any worse. "I-I just accidentally told Loki I love him."

Thor stiffened. "Oh, my."

"No shit!" I screeched, and then buried my burning face in both hands. "Oh God, Thor, why did I do that? Why did I say that? What the hell is the matter with me?"

"Shh, easy, easy," he said, rubbing my shoulders. "It's not as bad as you think."

"How?" I demanded, narrowing my eyes up at him.

"Well," he said, idly scratching his neck. "Perhaps he understands that many Midgardians end phone calls that way habitually."

"This is Loki we're talking about," I countered. "He overanalyzes how he puts his socks in the drawer."

"Maybe he hung up before he heard it?"

I shut my eyes. "God, I wish that were true. If it were anyone other than me, it would be. But it's me."

Thor nodded in acknowledgment. "You do have rather bad luck. I didn't believe you until that ride broke down at Disneyworld."

"Tell me about it," I muttered, cringing at the memory. "Longest hour of my life."

He brought a hand up to his chin and ran his fingers over his beard. "Well, I guess the next question is the most important one."

"Which is?"

Thor locked eyes with me, his gaze inquisitive and intense. "Did you mean it?"

"I..." I licked my dry lips and stood there, confused. "I don't..."

"Go on," he said gently. "Please."

I ran a shaky hand through my hair. "I'm not sure. I've never been in love before. I wouldn't know what it feels like. I mean, sure, I've read about it and heard songs and watched movies and TV shows, but I honestly wouldn't have a clue."

Thor began to pace in front of me, still stroking his beard in thought. "You grew up an orphan and you haven't had many friends, so it's possible you've never been around anyone long enough to recognize how love has felt, I suppose. But it had to have come from somewhere."

I bit my lower lip and went out on a limb. "Have you...ever been in love?"

Thor paused and peered down at me seriously. "Yes. With you."

I smacked him in the arm as hard as I could. It didn't even make him flinch, the great giant idiot. He laughed. "I'm teasing. Just trying to lighten the mood at bit, milady."

"Ha-ha," I said, rolling my eyes. "Now answer the question, Odinson."

"When I was young," he admitted, still smiling at me but not teasingly this time. "Yes. I met a wonderful young lady of whom I was quite fond, but our paths did not cross again after a very romantic encounter one night. But I've always been the type to develop feelings quickly and deeply."

"What did it feel like?"

"It..." He frowned. "It's like the way that my powers work."

He opened his palm and an elegant, silvery-blue bolt of lightning crackled over his hand and through his fingers. It was beautiful. I wanted to touch it, but I knew better. He could stop my heart with just a flick of his wrist. "They're always there, even if I'm not using them. It's in my skin. In my bones. It lives there, just waiting, patiently, as much a part of me as anything else. It doesn't fade or diminish with time. In fact, it grows stronger every day. It's like an energy of sorts. I can draw from it at any time."

He closed his hand into a fist and the lightning vanished. "But that is how it is for me. It is different for everyone."

I let out a long breath and leaned over the balcony, staring down at the edges of the forest surrounding the Avengers compound. Thor settled next to me and we just watched the scenery for a while.

Finally, Thor nudged me with his shoulder. "I don't think he will react poorly."

"Thor," I groaned. "This is the same man who tied me to a bed against my will because he thought you and I were going to have an affair."

"Which led to a very satisfying punishment on my end," he pointed out.

"Shame on you," I scolded him. "But it was extremely funny when you hung him from that tree for a whole day like a giant piñata. Don't tell him I said that."

"I would never," he said. "However, that was months ago. Since then, at least to my knowledge, he has improved his behavior and treated you in the way that you deserve, has he not?"

"Mostly," I admitted.

"Therefore, perhaps..." He glanced at me. "Your feelings are reciprocated."

I shook my head. "No way. Come on, Thor."

"Why not?"

I brandished a hand at myself. "Look at me, for crying out loud. I'm nothing special. The guy's a prince. He's royalty, and I'm some scrappy orphan who got adopted by the freaking Avengers due to sheer dumb luck."

"It was not dumb luck," he said sternly. "You are a very capable young woman and you have fought valiantly alongside us. If not for you, then we wouldn't have defeated Thanos and you know it."

"I was just your support during the war. I didn't do anything--"

"Milady," Thor said firmly. "You are more than what you claim to be. Perhaps it scares you to come to terms with it, but you are. We all care for each other, and you are not exempt simply because you don't have the same history as the others. You could have chosen to leave at any time. You still can. But you haven't. You are here with us."

After a moment, he continued. "With me. I have enjoyed our friendship immensely, milady. So please, do not talk about yourself in such a manner. It is perfectly possible that Loki is in love with you. I cannot say for certain, but it is at least possible."

He reached up and wiped away a tear that I hadn't realized was dripping down my cheek towards my chin. Holy hell. Somehow, I hadn't put it all together. I'd been waiting for the other shoe to drop for so long. This was it. This was what some people waited for their whole damn lives. A place to fit in. Somewhere that they were wanted and safe. I'd been alone for so long I didn't even recognize it.

"I..." Staring at him, at my friend the freaking _God of Thunder_ , I couldn't figure out what to say.

"It's alright," he whispered, rubbing my shoulder gently. "Whatever he says, I'm certain you'll be fine."

I closed my eyes. More tears ran down my cheeks. "Thor, what if he doesn't feel that way about me? What if it all just comes apart? If he dumps me, I don't think I'd be able to just stick around and act like everything is fine."

Thor turned me to face him. "Look at me, milady."

I forced myself to obey. He settled his big, warm hands on my shoulders. "You will not break. I've seen how strong you are. No matter what he says, you will be alright. I promise."

I blinked up at him, and then dissolved into hiccuping tears. Thor just hugged me.

"God _dammit_ ," I cursed into his chest.

"What?" he asked.

"I just realized I love your big, stupid ass too."

Thor laughed heartily and rubbed my back. "I'm sorry, milady."

"Yeah, whatever, Lord of Thunder."

He let me calm down before drawing away and kissing my forehead. "Now, what are you going to do?"

"Get you a new shirt, for one," I said, staring guiltily at the damp spots my tears had made. "After that, I don't know."

"Yes, you do," he said. "And you will be great at it."

I wiped my eyes, chuckling hoarsely. "Let's just hope I don’t act this pathetic when I confront him or he'll definitely dump me."

"I will launch him into the sun if he does such a thing."

That made me smile. "Thanks."

He gave me a little bow. "You are welcome as always, milady."

His single blue eye twinkled. "And I love you too."

"Ugh!" I slapped his chest. "Don't do that!"

"What? I do."

"Shut up and go get me some tissue, you big jerk."

* * *

I was entirely too chicken to take this task head on, so I told FRIDAY to block all calls to my apartment and kept my phone off. In order to stay calm, I returned to my apartment and cleaned up the mess the dropped O.J. had left.

Nightfall. That was how long I had before Loki would be home and I’d have to face the music.

“Damn it all,” I muttered once the mess was gone. I grabbed a Swiffer and cleaned the entire kitchen floor, and then decided to just clean the whole apartment to keep busy. Try as I might, I couldn’t keep my mind off Loki. Every memory over the past year flitted through my head. My brain so badly wanted to rationalize and try to predict his response, but there was no definite answer. I couldn’t fathom that he’d return my feelings, however accidental or intentional they were, not when this whole “relationship” had been started off of extremely gratifying, but shallow sex.

To be fair, I knew he’d gotten emotionally attached to me. Otherwise, we wouldn’t sleep together at night. Whether it was his quarters or mine, we shared a bed nightly, regardless of if we had sex or not. It had been weird at first, but I’d grown to get used to it, and enjoy it after a time. Loki didn’t fidget or flip over much during the night; he picked one position and stayed in it. He liked to spoon me, mostly, but sometimes he’d wrap me up in his arms in a loose hug and doze off. A few times, I’d slept jet-pack style, curled against his back with one leg looped over his thigh and my arm pressed to his side. He seemed most comfortable touching me in bed than anywhere else; we didn’t engage outside of our apartments, for the sake of the team. They were all good-natured with their teasing, but it always made Loki roll his eyes, so no PDA. We didn’t hold hands and we rarely hugged. If the latter happened, it usually preluded sex.

It disappointed me that I didn’t know him better by now. That I couldn’t read him as well as I thought I could. Maybe this needed to happen, then. Maybe I needed to grow up and move on. After all, it wasn’t like I thought it would last forever. I was still only a part time Avenger; there when they needed someone running the smaller scale hero work or to protect the home base during an attack. Loki had once told me he intended to leave Earth someday, that this wasn’t his home, and I didn’t blame him. He had aspirations to rule somewhere, even if it would never be Asgard. Maybe I’d just been his anchor, and he needed to cast off.

A hoarse little laugh caught in my throat as I scrubbed the counter. _“The sailor said, ‘Brandy, you’re a fine girl, what a good wife you would be, but my life, my love, and my lady is the sea…”_

Thor was right. I had been alone before, and I was fine. I would be fine without Loki.

Just fine.


	2. Loki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki deals with the fallout of Reader's accidental "love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD I AM ATTEMPTING A THING AND I AM SCARED.
> 
> Right. So, obviously, I've been writing Loki from other POVs before, but this is my first foray into first person POV. I pray to Odin I did it correctly, but I'll let you be the judge. Here we go. Time to dive into our favorite trashlord's head.

_“She is an epiphany_  
_Her electricity opens my days like she always knew_  
_I feel like affinity, look at me, a deity_  
_In all the ways, she's a break-thru_  
_Under the sun, there's nothing new_  
_But she keeps it 100 in the shade_  
_She's a break-thru_  
_It's cold out there_  
_That's nothing new_  
_But she keeps it 100 through the shade_  
_She's a break-thru_  
_She is so wild_  
_Middle-earth highbrow_  
_Her line is Pablo but her color's Fauves_  
_What about it?_  
_Just to review_  
_She will a-break thru_  
_Nobody stops her_  
_No one can lock her down...”_  
_-“Break Thru” by Dirty Projectors_

 

Midgardians are a curious species.

When I was young, I came to Midgard in secret. Not completely in secret, I admit, for Heimdall always knew when I’d scamper off. It annoyed me, his All-Seeing Eyes watching over the little prince, but it was his duty, so I ignored it as best as I could. I could not always explain to myself why I did it. Perhaps a change of scenery. Perhaps I felt, even back then, that I did not belong on Asgard, and Midgard suited me better, for the humans were so much weaker and lived such mayfly lives that I felt superior to them by default.

I did many things on Midgard, as I grew older. Mainly, I liked to observe. I watched time pass over the land. I watched them slowly advance towards meager versions of progress in technology, architecture, art, and science. Nothing impressed me until about the time of their version of a Renaissance. I do admit I enjoy Midgardian art, particularly their paintings, sculptures, and music. While I consider it primitive, it had a certain appeal to it. Because the mortals’ lives are so short, they often put the most effort into their attempts to remain immortal through their creativity. In a way, they aren’t wrong. Art is eternal.

By the time I reached adulthood, Heimdall began to ask me what I sought when I traveled to Midgard. By then, I was a talented liar. I told him I wanted to know if we were still worshiped there as we had been in the early parts of their history. Not too many other realms looked upon our race as gods. I had reveled in the farfetched tales the Midgardians came up with to explain our existence, our relationships, our stories. He didn’t believe me, so I added a thread of truth to it all. I told him they were entertaining. It wasn’t a lie, after all. I’d reached a level of knowledge about them that I figured I knew everything that they had been, were, and would become.

I am not wrong often.

But I was wrong about them in the end.

I was wrong when I came with the Scepter.

I was wrong when Thanos returned for the stones.

And I was wrong about the woman with whom I had shared my last year.

My companion had come to me in the most unusual of ways. I had been uninterested when Stark first announced at one of his tedious “meetings” that we would have another ‘enhanced individual,’ as he calls them, joining us while my brother and the other Avengers left to locate the remaining stones. He’d given me a dossier on her, but I hadn’t bothered to do more than glance it over. She was no threat to me. My power was a thousand times what hers was, and if Stark hired her, she was no doubt as imbecilic and useless as I considered him to be.

And yet she wasn’t.

The first day she arrived, I had already been in place to observe, shielded and projecting myself into the breakroom when Stark took her on a tour of the compound. She didn’t look like much, but she held herself differently than most women of her age. One thing of note about Midgardians were that most of them went through life afraid, unsure, or pretending to know what they were doing so no one could glean the truth. This woman had an aura about her. I sensed the magic within her, a kind that beat with a similar pulse to my own, and yet she felt…damaged somehow. Incomplete. As if she had a hole at her center. Some unfinished part of her soul, perhaps.

It unnerved me.

Because I had one as well.

Once she sensed me in the vicinity, I’d admitted to myself that I was intrigued. She didn’t seem overtly afraid of me—a reaction I was unused to after what I did to their city several years ago—and she wasn’t overtly angry at me like the rest of the Avengers. She had a cool, detached demeanor to match the ice magic she’d been mysteriously given. Like the way Agent Romanov gave off a cold aura, but not exactly as practiced. A defense mechanism, I figured.

That night, she revealed a little more of herself when I caught her baking dessert. It was an odd notion, to make sweets for people she didn’t know, and so I determined she wanted to make a good impression. She was certainly young, but not as naïve as I had predicted. She was rightfully wary of me, and her tongue was rather sharp for one so inexperienced. Her body language was very telling. She kept the distance between us, but her heart rate sped up at my appearance, and not only for fear of harm. I’d found that rather interesting. Being in Thor’s vicinity for so long, I’d gotten used to Midgardian women having no reaction to my presence aside from fear or annoyance, but this one…I _excited_ her.

And it had been a _long_ time since that had happened.

I decided to see what would come of it.

I tested her, in small ways, the next time by watching some film about the Trojans with her. She wasn’t quite so innocent, and I confirmed that she had both wit and bravery to speak to me in such a manner. I came to find I didn’t mind her company. At the very least, it became fun to tease and string her along. Her demeanor changed when I came around, and it was the opposite of the rest of the Midgardians within the compound. Normally, when I appeared, they braced themselves for a fight or conflict.

She, instead, _relaxed_.

Strange.

I concluded that because she deeply admired her Avengers, she was tense around them. She wanted to make a good impression, foolishly, and so she carefully measured everything she said to them, and how she reacted to things. Around me, however, she did not care how she appeared, for I was nothing but a nuisance in her eyes. She could be sarcastic or dismissive and I’d take no offense, because she did not care what I thought of her. We fed off each other’s refusal to surrender in our battle of wits, and for the first time in months, I actually enjoyed the company of another person.

She surprised me again during the bilgesnipe attack.

A stroke of bad luck and even worse timing had struck. The creature had me in its sights and I could not get away in time.

She saved me.

And she’d nearly died in the process.

I didn’t think twice about it after I saw her limp form hit the icy river below; I leapt in after her, swam hard, and caught her before she could be taken under. The bilgesnipe’s neck had broken on contact with the bottom of the river and its corpse floated off into the distance, to run aground a few miles away. I’d crawled up onto the riverbed with her in my arms, and for the first time since Hela, felt true terror. She looked so pale and pathetic and small as she lay there, unmoving and bruised and soaked to the bone. My thoughts were panicked enough that I forced myself to remain calm and reached inside her with my own magic until she revived. She breathed on her own, at long last, and I’d thanked the Allfathers before whisking her back to the Quinjet. She nearly died twice before I got her suit and undergarments off enough to warm her. So fragile. And yet not. She was a conundrum.

I hadn’t expected her to wake up on the way back to the compound.

It was rather…intriguing, I admit.

She was modest, borderline prude, but I had known that about Midgardian women for centuries. Nudity was not taken all too seriously on Asgard. It was our natural state, and yet here, women had the idea of modesty nearly forced down their throats from birth. Some cultures took it to extremes, even. It was rather cute to see her caught off-guard. Once more, I found that damaged part of her.

When I kissed her for the first time.

The look she’d given me had burned itself into my eyes and my mind’s eye as well. Fear. Not of being harmed, but of simply feeling something pleasant. She had been without for so long that a positive sensation—even in something as small as a kiss—frightened her. She must have been alone for a long time in order for that reaction to be her default. After all, she wasn’t unattractive in the slightest. She was lovely. But without physical contact, she had become unused to intimacy.

Not unlike me.

That very moment, I quietly determined to do something about it.

That is, until I found out she was spying on me.

I was furious, at first, when the pieces came together. It was just like Anthony Stark, in all his arrogance, to use a lure like her to watch my movements and behavior. A doe perfectly placed for the lone wolf. I should have seen it coming, but he’d managed to blindside me. When we reached Italy, I confronted her. I had every intention of doing her grievous harm if she confessed that she’d taken me offsite with the intention of trying to kill me, but she hadn’t. I had miscalculated. She’d in fact insisted to Stark that I be let free to enjoy something other than the monotony of the compound. She’d stood up for me. She’d tried to show me compassion.

Sentiment.

That, perhaps, was why I finally decided to make her mine.

Only I couldn’t have predicted how addictive she would be.

I have had many lovers in the past. Mostly Asgardian. Sakaar had a plethora of willing women as well. She was my first Midgardian conquest.

And by far the most engaging lover I had ever experienced.

No woman, of any species, had reacted to me the way that she did.

Everything I did to her filled her with an unfathomable sense of power, purpose, and most of all, pleasure. Every moment with her in my bed was genuine. Not once did she put on a performance as some women feel obligated to do. She reacted honestly, shedding those defensive walls she’d built to keep everyone out. She shared herself, completely, with me.

It might as well have been a spell, it was so damned compelling.

I knew better. But I could not resist. We were, the both of us, starving. Again and again, we fed on one another. Each time, it was bliss. I told myself I would find the will to stop, but with every carnal encounter, I only grew hungrier for her. It would inevitably land us both in trouble, and yet neither of us seemed to care. I knew it was too good to be true, that it would destroy one or both of us eventually, but I did not have it in me to care. I had something precious within my grasp again, and I would hold it until it turned to dust in my hands.

Finally, I understood what Thor had seen in his little muse.

And I was to then know the pain of possibly losing her.

That intoxicating bliss became the noose around my neck when Ebony Maw came after the Tesseract. I had been ready to fight to the death and accept my fate that I brought upon myself until she intervened. When Maw threatened her, I broke. I couldn’t stand the thought of her blood on my hands.

And apparently, neither could she.

I did not know how to reconcile the fact that she came after me. She flew light years away from her world to save me. The only other person who had done that had been my brother. I should have thanked her. Instead, I lashed out; grasping at something, anything, no matter how absurd, to try and distance myself from her, but in the end, I fell under her spell again. Like so many millennia ago, I had found something on this miserable little world worth staying here for.

She was my art.

And so it came as a complete shock when I heard those two damnable words this morning.

“Love you.”

The call had ended a moment later, but there I stood at the Quinjet’s console, blinking owlishly. The jet went completely silent. I could only hear the hum of the repulsor engines.

“FRIDAY,” I said quietly. “Replay the last five seconds of that phone call.”

The artificial intelligence program ran the call back again. I listened intently. _“Love you.”_

I heard a sharp intake of breath from everyone present.

“Thank you, FRIDAY,” I said, and then folded my hands behind my back in the wake of a very painful, awkward silence.

Stark finally broke it. “Uh. We’re, uh, about over the drop zone now, so we’re just gonna, you know.”

He hit the hatch release and the other team members made a hasty retreat out of the jet.

I had about sixty seconds to follow them or I’d have to fly the jet to land elsewhere. Yet I couldn’t move.

_“Love you.”_

“Allfathers above,” I whispered, closing my eyes. “I am in serious trouble.”

* * *

The mission was successful. The consequent mess took a period of time to smooth over, but by sundown, we returned to the Quinjet and headed back to the compound. Stark and Rhodes struck up conversation in the rear of the jet.

The Widow came to me.

I sat in the pilot’s seat for the sake of some semblance of isolation. The jet had an autopilot, after all, and needed no guidance unless there was an emergency.

“Go away,” I said before she even sat down.

She flicked a smirk at me and sat next to me anyway. “So—”

“Do not utter another word or I shall throw you from this ship,” I spat. “That is, if I do not snap your neck first.”

Natasha placed one hand underneath her chin and stared at me, still smirking. “You’re taking this well.”

I leveled my most loathsome glare at her. “Have I not made my intentions clear, Widow?”

She rolled her eyes. “You should know by now that you don’t scare me. You’ve threatened me about twelve dozen times since you came to earth. It hasn’t worked before. Why would it work now?”

“Just because I haven’t killed you before does not mean you are safe,” I reminded her. “You do not have my brother as protection this time, either.”

She snorted. “Like I’d need him anyway.”

I scowled. “Pride cometh before the fall, dear Agent Romanov.”

“A Bible quote,” she mused. “I thought you’d burst into flames if you ever held one.”

I rolled my eyes and resumed my watch of the bleeding skyline. “Calling me the Devil. Very original.”

“I go with what you give me,” she said. “So what are you going to do about our mutual friend?”

“None of your bloody business.”

She narrowed her eyes. “It is my business. I care about her. So do the other team members.”

“And so you offer me another threat?” I demanded. “Something trite like ‘if you hurt her, we’ll bury your body in the woods?’ Trust me, Stark has made no less than a hundred threats since he unfortunately discovered our association. It will do you no good. If any of you try to enact violence, I will kill you.”

“I’m not here to threaten you.”

My expression did not change. “Is that right?”

“I want to talk.”

“What would make you possibly think I wish to talk to you in return, Widow?”

“I can see it, you know.”

I gritted my teeth. “What?”

“That you’re confused,” she said, her tone gentle, the venom leaking out of her voice. “You haven’t had many people tell you… _that_ before, have you?”

I exhaled. My silence answered her question, so she just nodded. “I’d guess probably only Frigga and Thor.”

“Odin said it once,” I murmured, my gut twisting like a pit full of vipers. “Before he died.”

Natasha nodded. “So this is a new feeling for you. Being wanted. It’s uncommon, at least in our line of work.”

I cast an aside glance at her. “Our?”

She gave me another faint smirk. “You know my past.”

“Intimately. Now get to the point and leave me be.”

She sighed, annoyed, but continued nonetheless. “I…understand, to a degree, what you’re going through right now. It’s been a very long time since anything good happened to me.”

I studied her. “The soldier, then?”

Something warm entered her expression. “Yeah. Steve is…well, he’s Steve. No one deserves him, least of all me, but he’s with me anyway. I think about running every day. Just because having a good thing in my life means I can lose it. It’s easier being solitary. Then the only one hurting you is yourself.”

I did not wince outwardly, but the vipers in my guts began to bite each other. Viciously.

“And as much as I’ve seen you pretend like this is just a physical relationship, it isn’t. And you’re afraid. People do stupid things when they’re afraid.”

Natasha took a deep breath. “I’m not here to threaten you. I’m here to tell you not to do anything stupid. I know from experience that it won’t be what you want in the end. You’re telling yourself you don’t deserve it. You don’t, but life isn’t about what anyone deserves. It was given to you for a reason. Don’t throw it away. You won’t find it again. Trust me.”

She rose from the seat and left me in peace, at last, with plenty of food for thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *peeks her head out from underneath the trashpile* How'd I do?


	3. Frosty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Reader confront each other at long last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said. Short and sweet.

_“Don’t depend on me to ever follow through on anything_  
_But I’d go through hell for you_  
_I haven’t been this scared in a long time_  
_And I’m so unprepared_  
_So here’s your valentine_  
_Bouquet of clumsy words_  
_A simple melody_  
_This world’s an ugly place_  
_But you’re so beautiful to me…”_  
_-“Going Away to College” by Blink 182_

“I do not understand.”

I arched an eyebrow at the God of Thunder. “What?”

“Why the other Friends do not simply kill Ross,” he said seriously. “Is it me or is he just the worst?”

I collapsed into giggles, snorting a few times at the pure sincerity in his voice. “No, it’s not just you. He’s a toxic piece of shit.”

Thor shook his head and grabbed some popcorn. “The blonde, Rachel, is much better off without him.”

“Yup,” I agreed. “But they were a big deal in their hey-day. The whole ‘Will They or Won’t They’ trope. It went on until the end of the show.”

“How exhausting,” he said before emptying his beer. “I much prefer that one you showed me last week, _Living Single_.”

“God, me too. It’s way better.” I collected the bottle from him as well as my own and took them to the recycle chute. I came back with two more and tucked myself into his side as the canned laughter continued.

I’d spent the majority of the day in my room, obsessively scouring every inch of it, until Thor had knocked on the door and crashed my panic-party with pizza, beer, and popcorn. He knew me way too well. He didn’t want me in here worrying myself to death, so he decided to keep me company until Loki arrived. I so did not deserve him. Hell, no one did.

He squeezed me a little so I’d glance at him. “Feeling any better?”

“Nope.” I punctuated the statement with a swig of beer.

He shook his head at me. “At least I tried.”

“And I appreciate it,” I said sincerely. “Really. But pretty sure nothing’s going to help.”

Thor considered that. “We could always makeout.”

I laughed. “Shut up, Thor.”

He pouted at me. “I was being serious.”

I laughed harder as he leaned over and made an obnoxious kissing noise. I grabbed a couch pillow and held it up like a shield, which just made him go about it a different way. He grabbed me around my middle—I was _frightfully_ ticklish—and we both ended up bowled over laughing hysterically like morons.

Which of course was the exact moment my door whooshed open and Loki appeared.

I froze, staring at him from upside-down, and realized this looked extremely bad. Thor was practically on top of me. My hair all over the place, and I only had a big t-shirt and boy shorts on. And we were still touching.

“Ah,” Thor said helpfully. “Welcome back, brother.”

Loki just lifted a dark eyebrow in response. I cleared my throat and tried not to squeak. “Hi.”

He stepped into the apartment with a clipped, “Brother.”

Thor hastily climbed off of me and tugged me to my feet next to him. “It…is not as it appears. I was trying to cheer her up.”

“By mounting her?” Loki asked dryly.

Thor actually blushed. “I did not—”

He sighed before trying to finish the sentence. “Nevermind.”

Thor dropped a kiss on top of my head and headed for the door, though not before sending Loki a level gaze. “Behave yourself.”

Loki gave him a razor-edged smile. “Don’t I always?”

Thor snorted and left my apartment. Deafening silence fell. God, I wished for a meteor to hit the earth and give me an excuse to run away from this moment.

“Um,” I said, fidgeting and twisting my fingers in my t-shirt. “How, uh, how did everything go?”

“Fine,” he said.

“Are you, um, hurt at all?”

Something of a smile touched his lips. “No.”

“Good.”

Again, the awkward silence. I shifted from foot to foot. He just kept staring at me patiently. “Thor brought some pizza over if you want any for dinner. Or I can cook. Whichever you, uh, want.”

“I am not hungry.”

I finally just shoved both hands into my hair and closed my eyes, blocking the sight of him with my arms. “For God’s sake, Loki, just get it over with. You’re killing me.”

“Get what over with?” he asked in that same infuriatingly calm tone.

“You know what I said this morning,” I said, defeated, pressing my hands over my face. “So let me have it.”

“And just what do you think I have in store for you, darling?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Something about how a prince of Asgard could never marry some common Midgardian and I shouldn’t have taken our strictly physical relationship so seriously and that it’s better for both of us if we separate and you go fuck off into the cosmos to cause mayhem and whatnot and I stay here as the Avengers mascot and they all dote on me until I get over you or until Thor proposes to me out of guilt. Which, come to think of it, isn’t the worst idea in the world, but it’s still pathetic.”

“I see. So you think me incapable of love.”

“Not of love,” I muttered. “Just not with me.”

I jumped as Loki’s cool fingers closed around my wrists. I tried to jerk away on instinct, but he held me still and lowered my hands. I clamped my eyes shut. I couldn’t cry if I kept them closed.

“Look at me,” he commanded.

“No.”

Loki exhaled in frustration. “Look at me, you silly woman. I’ll not tell you a third time.”

He tilted my chin up, and I opened my eyes on reflex. The tears—stupid things—spilled down my cheeks. Idiot.

“I am not going to leave you.”

My breath caught. “Oh.”

“Even though your little couch display made me consider it,” he admitted, darting an annoyed look at the aforementioned furniture. “You said it accidentally. We both know it. There is no reason for me to cut ties with you over a genuine mistake. There are so many other annoying things you do that deserve a chance.”

“Fuck off,” I growled.

“But,” he continued, ignoring me. “I believe we both deeply contemplated our future after this incident.”

I tried not to gulp. “Right.”

Loki brushed a lock of hair behind my ear. “I do not care for how I was brought up, but I have had enough time to reflect upon the fact that even if it was for the wrong reasons, and even if it is tainted with bad memories, I was loved for a time. You have not had such a luxury. So it may be frightening for you to feel such a thing for someone else when you have never felt it before.”

“I don’t…” I shook my head. “What are you trying to tell me, Loki?”

“If you should come to the conclusion that you do feel that way about me, you don’t have to fear it.”

“But...you’re you and I’m me and that just doesn’t make any sense.”

“Love does not have to make sense,” he told me. “Do you love my brother?”

I blushed. “That’s—”

“Do you,” he repeated, irritated. “Love my brother?”

“Yes, probably,” I grumbled, thoroughly embarrassed.

“You see? It does not make sense. He is a thundering oaf who has barely known you a year, and yet you love him. Does it not stand to reason that you love me as well?”

That made me think for a second. “I…guess so.”

“Then embrace it. It is a rare thing.”

I winced. “But you don’t feel that way about me. Isn’t it wrong for love to be one-sided?”

“I do not fall in love as easily as my brother, but it does not mean I am incapable of loving. But is it not apparent that I care for you?”

“I know you do,” I said softly. “I never doubted that. I just thought you’d rather cut and run than figure this out. I didn’t think you’d ever want to be in love. You once described it as being stabbed.”

“That is precisely what it feels like,” he affirmed. “But I have bled before.”

Loki ran his thumb across my lower lip. “And I will again.”

He wrapped his other arm around my waist and tugged me into him. “Now tell me the truth. Do you love me?”

I trembled from head to toe. I licked my lips, stalling for time. “I…”

“Do you,” he whispered. “Love me, darling?”

My throat tightened to the point of hurting. “Yes.”

A shudder went through the God of Mischief. “Say it.”

I swallowed past the Sahara desert in my mouth and croaked, “I love you.”

Loki growled and scooped me up in his arms, carrying me to the couch. He dumped me on the squishy cushions and set upon me immediately. He had me out of the boy shorts and himself out of his Asgardian armor before the _Friends_ theme song even finished, and then he fucked me on the couch like a wild animal. He waited until he had me on the ropes, hovering so very, very near my orgasm, before he sunk down on top of me completely, his soft lips near my ear.

“Tell me,” he murmured, that silken voice rough and ragged with desire. “Tell me again, my sweet.”

I clung to the cushion underneath me, trying to hold it together, but he’d found just the right spot inside me and I teetered so close to the climax that I struggled to remember how to speak.

“I love you.”

“Mm,” he purred, rotating his hips enough to make me whimper. “I’ve waited so long to possess you, body and soul. You’re mine, aren’t you, darling?”

“Yes, God, yes, Loki, _please_.”

He rose above me on both hands, the light from the television painting him in a heavenly pale blue glow, his eyes gleaming unnaturally. “Shall I tell you a secret, pet?”

Loki lowered his lips to mine, and just before he sent me off to paradise, whispered.

“I love you too.”

FIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Loki and Frosty Will Return...Eventually..."
> 
> *runs away from the angry mob*


	4. Bonus chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Brodinsons have a conversation about Frosty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank saiansha for the encouragement to make this extra chapter. Just a short and sweet like bit of amusement for you.

_“Ion displacement won’t work in the basement_  
_Especially when I’m not with you_  
_Here in the heartland_  
_A feeling so startling_  
_I don’t know what I should do_  
_Oh, Bryn, you see through the dark_  
_Right past the fireflies that sleep in my heart_  
_You know it’s easy to see_  
_Wait for the seasons to come back to me…”_  
_-“Bryn” by Vampire Weekend_

It never ceased to amuse Loki how his companion slept like the dead.

He kept a strictly regimented schedule that required him to run at dawn, and every morning, he had to untangle himself from his lover. He didn’t use an alarm, for his body knew the routine already. He carefully maneuvered his arm from beneath her, and she stirred slightly, but didn’t wake. He’d been with lovers who slept gracefully in the past.

She was _not_ one of them.

For one, she slept fitfully. He’d grown used to her random shifting and little sounds. She mumbled things sometimes—and he’d heard his name more than once—and snuggled deeper in his embrace until she was comfortable, and then would drift off for the night. She often bound her hair, but it tumbled loose by the next morning, creating a haphazard mess. Not too long ago, he’d taken a picture of the way she looked before she woke up. She’d been mortified to find out it was the photo he chose for her whenever she called him.

Loki paused and tilted his head, unable to keep from smirking as he stared down at her disheveled visage. She grumbled something incoherent under her breath and clung to her pillow as she burrowed deeper beneath the comforter. He chuckled softly and kissed her neck before rising from the bed.

The Avengers compound spanned many miles of private property, protected on all sides by Stark’s most advanced weaponry and guarded by FRIDAY at all hours of the day. Naturally, it hadn’t been his idea or his choice to live here. It was the only deal Thor could broker with the Avengers. Even after Thor had explained his recent actions—namely helping him save Asgard—the team had remained unconvinced of his better nature, and only agreed to let him remain on Midgard safely hidden and carefully monitored on the Avengers compound. That being said, while it didn’t suit him at all, he did find it adequate for his needs in the interim. Over the past year, the Avengers still didn’t trust him, but they had slackened in their ever-vigilant observation of his behavior. He could now leave at his leisure, provided that he kept an illusion over himself just in case.

He ran five miles every morning around the compound, through the woods, and back to the main grounds as the sun rose over the horizon. Every so often, Thor offered to join him. Loki declined the invitation, and sometimes Thor would join him anyway, and they tried to outrun each other every single time. It didn’t happen often, though. Thor loved sleeping in.

Loki finished his run, showered, dropped another kiss to his sleeping lover, and made himself some oolong tea. He prepped the coffeemaker to start when she would wake within the next hour and then went out onto the patio to finish his tea and read. He’d passed Steve on his way back from the run, as the Super Soldier also ran in the morning, and the first signs of the other team members waking began, like Natasha in the communal kitchen making herself and her soldier protein shakes.

He’d been about most of the way through his tea when Thor appeared.

“Brother,” Thor said with his usual nod and smile.

“Brother,” Loki returned without looking up from his novel. He had reclined in one of the comfortable chairs facing the forest surrounding the compound. Thor chose to remain standing, instead leaning his arms on the railing, a picture of nonchalance that didn’t fool Loki one bit.

“So…”

“Don’t,” Loki said. “Or I will make your left kidney an appointment with my dagger.”

Thor rolled his lone eye. “Always so chipper in the morning.”

Loki flicked an irritated glance up at him. “Yes, until you show up to stick your nose where it does not belong.”

“Nonsense,” Thor grinned. “I’m your brother. I’m supposed to stick my nose in your business, especially when it pertains to a mutual acquaintance of ours.”

“Yes, because you would certainly take romantic advice from me.”

“If it were relevant, yes, I would,” Thor sniffed. “Besides, I’m not trying to offer advice. I merely want to know how it went last night.”

“That is none of your affair.”

Thor’s eye twinkled with merry mischief. “I could always hang you from another tree until you talk.”

Loki glared. Thor just lifted both eyebrows and waited.

Loki heaved a sigh and returned to his book. “She is fine. We are not separated.”

Thor’s shoulders relaxed just a tad. “Glad to hear it. I had hoped this would happen.”

Loki arched an eyebrow. “Beg your pardon?”

Thor smiled. “That you found a lovely lady who shared your feelings.”

“Don’t pretend to know my feelings,” the God of Mischief groused.

Thor crossed his arms. “How can I not when you are so obvious with them?”

“I am nothing of the sort.”

“You’re not as mysterious as you think you are,” the God of Thunder continued. “To her, perhaps, yes, because she has not known you as long as I have, but not to me. I knew from the first moment I met her that fate had something in store for you both.”

Loki scowled. “No, you bloody did not.”

Thor chuckled. “Aye, I did. It was after she told us what happened with Ebony Maw. She fought a Child of Thanos. For _you_ , brother. A _mortal_ woman did that for you.”

He shook his head. “If that is not love, I don’t know what is.”

Loki just sipped his tea, but he quietly reflected over the sobering thought as he did. Thor pressed on. “And even after that, she was as determined as I was to find you and bring you back to Midgard. She knew the risks, and yet she still came with us to Contraxia. One thing I have always admired about the Midgardians is not only their capacity for bravery, but for compassion. It’s an admirable quality.”

“What is your point, brother?” Loki asked quietly.

Thor finally faced him squarely, and the lightness of his tone dissipated. “You have a tendency to want to destroy any semblance of a good thing within your grasp. You did so last Christmas Eve, in fact. I am still impressed she did not simply kill you as recompense for your actions. I have no authority to make you do anything. But as your brother, I urge you to resist whatever instincts you have that might hurt her. Love is rare, Loki. You know that. You may never get another chance at it.”

Loki flashed him a thin smile. “You still don’t trust me.”

“It is not about trust,” he said simply. “I believe in you. I always will. But I also know it is an easier path to remain alone. Tempting, even. Whether you believe it or not, you deserve happiness, Loki.”

The God of Mischief felt his throat tighten slightly. He didn’t trust himself to speak, so he just gave his brother a miniscule nod.

The glass door to the patio slid aside, and the subject of their conversation appeared, still a bit sleepy but awake nonetheless. She had a thermos of coffee in one hand and wore a thick, fluffy robe over her pajamas.

“Ah, milady,” Thor said with a grin. “Please, join us.”

She pursed her lips as she glanced between the two of them. “This looks suspicious.”

“How so?” the God of Thunder asked with feigned innocence.

“You have that guilty look,” she said, pointing up at his face. “What did you do?”

“Do?” he echoed. “Why, nothing at all. Right, Loki?”

The God of Mischief sipped his tea. “No comment.”

She rolled her eyes. “Let me guess: the nosy King of Asgard wanted to know what happened last night?”

Thor clucked his tongue. “Absolutely not. That would constitute as gossip, milady, and I, King of Asgard, do not gossip.”

She glanced at Loki. “You really need to teach him to lie better.”

“Why,” Loki said with a smirk. “I like how terrible he is at it. It’s very amusing.”

She laughed, and Thor scoffed, offended. “I’ll have you both know I am an excellent liar.”

“Since when?”

“Since forever,” he insisted as he turned her to face Loki. He wrapped his arms about her shoulders and rested his chin on the crown of her head. “How else have been able to hide my undying infatuation with you?”

Loki’s eyes narrowed to slits. She sighed. “Oh my God, Thor, would you stop that?”

“Why? Look at how red his face gets whenever I say that. It’s hilarious.”

“Thor,” Loki said with faux-sweetness. “Remember that appointment with your left kidney?”

Thor glanced down at her. “He threatened to stab me, you know.”

“Loki,” she scolded. “No stabbing your brother. We’ve been over this before.”

“Then tell him to unhand you.”

“Loki,” she said mildly. “We’ve also had conversations about the whole ‘territorial’ thing, remember?”

He muttered something under his breath, but didn’t push the issue any further. “And anyway, the whole reason I came out here is that I have a pancake craving and was going to make some. Just wanted to see if you want any.”

Thor’s stomach growled audibly. She laughed. “I’ll take that as an emphatic yes from the Lord of Thunder. Loki?”

“No. I am fine, darling, but thank you.”

She and Thor both jumped slightly. Loki frowned. “What?”

“Nothing, I just…” She blushed. “You don’t say that very often.”

“Perhaps I am turning over a new leaf,” he said dryly.

“Annnnnd the moment’s ruined,” she confirmed, patting Thor's forearm so he would let her go. “Come along, Lord of Thunder. If I’m on pancake duty, you’re making the bacon.”

“It would be my pleasure.”

She turned to go, but paused as if thinking about something. Then she stooped down and kissed Loki. “Thanks for making my coffee for me.”

She left. Loki fought a fond smile off his lips with great effort and returned to his novel, though not before dismissing his brother.

“Get that ridiculous grin off your face and go cook breakfast, you buffoon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contemplating another bonus chapter, but we'll see. Stay tuned.


	5. Bonus chapter II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frosty can't help but want to know just what it is that Loki loves about her, so a little bargain is made. Takes place immediately after the couch scene in Chapter 3.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I declare this to be smuff: the exact middle between shameless smut and shameless fluff. Enjoy, and again, thank saiansha for the inspiration.

_"You're such a beautiful freak_  
_I wish there were more just like you_  
_You're not like all of the others_  
_And that is why I love you_  
_Beautiful freak, beautiful freak_  
_That is why I love you_  
_Beautiful freak, beautiful freak..."_  
_-"Beautiful Freak" by Eels_

"Loki?"

The God of Mischief opened his sea-tinted eyes to look down at me from where he lay languishing above me, naked, warm, and heavy. "Darling?"

"What do you love about me?"

He lifted a dark brow. "I beg your pardon?"

"Oh, come on," I said, poking out my bottom lip slightly as I wrapped my arms around his neck and toyed with the curly edges of his raven hair. "For once in your life, throw me a bone."

"Is that not what I did earlier?" he asked dryly, earning himself a small smack from me.

"First off, where did you learn that slang?"

"Television," he said simply.

"Second off, why are you being difficult? This is a very vulnerable time for me. I've never said those words to anyone before. It's important to me."

Loki rolled his eyes. "Are you not blowing this out of proportion, mortal woman?"

I scowled at him. "And just how many times have you told a woman you love her, immortal man?"

He opened his mouth to retort, then closed it. He winced. "You may have a point."

"I'll make you a deal," I said. "You tell me why and I'll tell you why. It'll be a fair trade."

"Hmm," he said under his breath, brushing my hair off my forehead as he mulled it over. "Is it not a vain thing to ask of me?"

"I'm human. Vanity is a common vice."

A pointy little grin flicked over his lips, and he nudged his hips into mine gently, brushing his semi-hard cock up against the apex of my thighs. "Among others."

I tried not to let it distract me too much. "You're stalling."

Loki exhaled. "You will owe me for this, you know."

I rolled my eyes. "Like you don't want to know why I fell for you. You're not fooling anyone. I've had a year to get immune to your bullshit, you know."

This time, he scowled. "You really should learn to bite your tongue. Or shall I do it for you?"

"Fine," I sighed in exasperation, starting to slide out from under him. He pressed his weight down to flatten me to the bed.

"I am teasing you, woman," he said in a softer tone. "Very well. We have an accord."

I couldn't help the little girlish smile that crept across my lips. "Good. So, why do you love me?"

"You let me have sex with you, for one."

I reached up to give him a good smack, but he snickered and pinned my arm. He was still teasing me. It seemed to be his default to be an ass. "My idiot brother is seldom right about anything, but he did articulate one thing about you that I find most intriguing, and that is your compassion. You have a myriad of reasons not to love me, or even like me, and yet you had compassion for me shortly after we met. I had been restless in this place before you came here and provided conversation, even companionship after a while. You understand the capacity for change, and you accepted that about me. It is very difficult for anyone to look past my actions and see who I am at my core."

He brushed his knuckle over my cheekbone, just a gentle touch. "That does not seem to be a problem for you."

My heart rabbited in my chest. He could feel it. Part of me wanted to shy away, but I'd asked for this and it would be silly to run from it. "What else?"

"I enjoy your zest for mortal life. There are many who squander their time on this little planet, but you have aspirations and a personal motivation. Not many people would be willing to risk their lives in service to mankind, and yet you do it without hesitation. You are afraid, but you still fight to save the innocent, and to protect the people for whom you care. I believe it is why your Avengers asked you to stay. If you had merely treated it as a job, they would have let your temporary assignment terminate once my brother and the others returned. You took it as a personal oath to serve and protect, and so they want you around. You've earned their respect, and that is no mean feat."

I blushed. "I-I think you're overstating it a bit--"

"I am not," he said gently, seriously, not straying from eye contact. "You self-deprecate to prevent yourself from accepting your own strength. You are strong, valiant, and kind. I recognize that in you, as do the others, and it makes people want to be around you."

I fidgeted. Holy shit. I didn't realize how detailed he'd be about everything. It...scared me to hear it aloud. I'd definitely opened up a can of worms. "Really?"

"Yes. Cynicism and cruelty are easy. Kindness is difficult. You deserve to be complimented for your virtue."

I blushed harder. "Thank you."

"You are welcome." He kissed my throat. "Now then, about this cunt of yours."

I choked on a laugh and tried to smack him again, but he caught both my arms and pinned me with almost insulting ease. Damn demigod. I'd gotten a helluva lot stronger in the past year, but I still couldn't hold a candle to Loki. Jerk.

He licked my pulse, which pulled a low groan out of me before I could stop myself. "I adore your body. It's nothing I haven't seen before, mind you, but it is so very uniquely yours. Your skin is amazingly sensitive. You are beyond responsive to me. There is never a time that I don't want to fuck you. Had you more stamina as a mortal woman, I'd have you multiple times a day."

"You already do," I snorted. "Our record is, what? Four? Five?"

"Oh, yes, but believe me, I can go far longer if not for your mortal form," he said with a wicked smirk. "My record is far higher than a mere five times, darling."

"Thank God I'm not Asgardian, then. You'd just build a sex dungeon and lock me in there with you day and night."

Loki grinned. "Without a doubt."

I stifled another groan as he shifted his hips again. The first heated flickers of desire fluttered across my skin. If he kept teasing me, we weren't going to get through this exercise anytime soon. Loki dragged my arms higher above my head, which stretched my body beneath him, and his topaz eyes dragged across my naked skin with cruel, exquisite slowness. He licked his lips, and his velvet voice took on a huskier tone.

"I like how you fuck me in return."

I shuddered. He kissed me, holding it for a long breath, no tongue. "You understand what I like on an inherent level I have never experienced before with past lovers. There isn't technique to it, per se. You simply let go and just feed that hunger inside you. You let it control you entirely, and as a result, everything you do is genuine. You only hold back with the intent of prolonging the pleasure. You surrender yourself to your desire, and to mine, and it makes you absolutely irresistible."

He kissed me again and slipped me the tongue this time. I started panting and chasing after his lips, but he withheld with that same evil smile. "And although you may be limited by being mortal, you are insatiable. You want me just as badly and as often as I want you."

"God _dammit_ , Loki," I breathed, pushing my waist up against his pelvis. Fuck, he was already hard against my lower belly. My inner thighs started to ache.

He clucked his tongue. "Patience, darling. We made an agreement, didn't we?"

I groaned in annoyance and dropped my head onto the pillow in frustration. "Fine, you literal cockteasing bastard."

Loki chuckled. "Have I not taught you that anticipation only heightens your pleasure in the end?"

"Yes, but it's still annoying as hell."

"I am sure you will survive somehow." He dragged my wrists together and held them under one hand. Then he licked his middle finger and slid it inside me. I cried out and arched off the bed, shaking from head to toe at the suddenness of the pleasure. Loki purred and watched me intently, lazily pumping the long, cool, slender digit inside me as if he had all the time in the world.

"Most of all," he drawled. "I love how vocal you are in my bed. Every scream and whimper and curse I covet most deeply. It is my favorite melody to listen to, how you moan and cry and beg for me. I love rewarding you, punishing you, pushing you to the brink of madness. You make me crave you. You make me crave this little cunt, all day, every day. You have no idea just how sweet it is."

He tugged his finger free and sucked it clean, this time inserting two. I squirmed underneath him, moaning helplessly as the pleasure returned twofold, flushing my skin and dragging me down underneath its delicious waves. "Mm, that's it. Spread those legs for me. Take my fingers in deeper. Move those pretty hips. Can you feel it? How wet you've gotten already? Such a good girl. Are you going to come for me, darling?"

"L-Loki--"

"You're _such_ a good girl," he teased, licking my ear lobe. "Sweet and kind and fierce and strong. I want you to come. I want you to come for me like a good girl. Are you a good girl, darling?"

I bit my lip, trying to resist the pull of his voice and the power of his insidious compliments. He chuckled darkly at my resistance and brought his thumb up against my clit. I cried out again, writhing beneath him, unable to help grinding up into his heady touch.

"Answer me, darling," he cooed in my ear. "Are you a good girl?"

"I'm...I'm a good girl."

"Mm, yes, you are," he purred, biting my throat gently. "Such a sweet girl. Come for me, sweet girl."

He pressed down hard against my clit and hooked his fingers inside me, curling them in a salacious "come hither" gesture, and I came with a mewl of his name. I quivered hard for several seconds as the orgasm rocked my body on the bed and then gradually let me be. I slumped to the sheets and tried to catch my breath as Loki slid his fingers free and licked them clean again.

"Now," he said with a supremely satisfied smirk. "Your turn."

I glared at him, though it was halfhearted on account of the toe-curling orgasm he'd just given me. "You suck."

"I'll do that shortly," he said, the smirk turning into a shit-eating grin. "It's still your turn, darling."

He flopped onto his side and propped his head on one hand, lifting his eyebrows as he waited. I rolled my eyes and finished catching my breath before gathering my thoughts into something that at least sounded halfway intelligent. "I love how intelligent and calculating you are. You enjoy learning. Not just reading and writing, but actual knowledge, which isn't as common as you'd think. Even if you're suspicious or cautionary, you still pay attention to the most important things around you. You don't simply look at things; you _see_ them. I think it's part of why you noticed me the way that you did when we first met. At first glance, I seemed like nothing special, but then you saw me as somewhat of a puzzle. That's never happened to me before. I appreciate your ability to look past the surface and see what's really there."

"Hmm," he said mysteriously, sliding his hand over my belly and stroking it gently. "Go on."

I paused, thinking. "I love the complexity of who you are. On the one hand, you're this implacable, powerful, frankly scary demigod who is damn near unstoppable with a dagger and unmatched in your magical prowess. On the other hand, you're wounded and vulnerable and there is a part of you that wants to be with someone despite how it may seem absurd to your sensibilities. At first, this whole relationship started based on sex. Amazing sex, but sex nonetheless. Then, Ebony Maw happened and we both realized it wasn't quite that simple. Even if we had only been in our arrangement for around a week or so, we connected. I was drawn to both parts of you: the man and the god. I love that I can't always predict what you're going to do. Sometimes I want to strangle you for being such an ass, but other times you say something so sweet it makes me want to cry. There are just so many... _layers_ to you. Everything you've done weighed against who you are is fascinating to me, honestly."

Loki stared at me wide-eyed, his expression somewhere between surprise and disbelief. "I...no one has ever..."

"Hey," I said softly, touching his cheek. "Easy. You don't have to say anything. It's just how I feel."

He swallowed hard and nodded. He seemed almost afraid to hear these words. Well, now he had an idea of how I'd felt earlier. It was kind of terrifying to have someone you care about tell you how they saw you. "I love how far you've come as a person. You chose to change yourself. That's not easy, trust me. A lot of people don't want to do better even though they know better. You have let a lot of your past define you, but then you reached a point where you were tired of it, and I think you became a better man as a result. It wasn't you changing who you are; it was you becoming who you might have been meant to be all along. As much as you continue to criticize your brother, you have a very similar quality to him that is endearing. You care. You pretend you don't most of the time, but you still do, and it makes you want to be the best you can be."

Loki glanced away and cleared his throat. "I see."

I smirked. "Also, you have an absolutely rockin' ass."

Loki choked. I burst into laughter. He probably hadn't completely understood the adjective but he got the general gist, and my timing had been perfect. He tried to scowl at me, but he couldn't help smiling a little anyway at my mirth. "My posterior can't be the bulk of why you love me."

"It's a pretty great ass, Loki," I said sincerely. "I mean, top notch. Even before we were together, I was checking you out on the regular."

He rolled his eyes. "Surely you jest."

"Not at all, and don't call me Shirley. I know you've got a thing because you've been hanging around Thor your whole life, but you are insultingly handsome. And tall. Which I love."

Again, his lips twisted somewhere between a scowl and a smile. "Is that right?"

"Oh yeah," I purred, dropping a kiss to his lips. "Tall, dark, and handsome. There's a reason that is a common phrase in English. You nailed it. Congrats on your face."

He chuckled. "I'll take your word for it."

"And," I continued, lowering my lashes a bit. "You fuck like a champ. Not that you didn't already know that, of course."

"Of course," he said, matching my cool gaze. "But I could stand to hear a little more about it."

"I'm not exactly an expert, but if fucking were in the Olympics, you'd win gold every time. I envy the fact that I'm just a Midgardian, because I'd be all about that 'fucking twenty times a day' thing if it were physically possible for me."

"Oh?" he asked, slipping his arm around my back and drawing me up against his chest. "What specifically do you love about the way I fuck, darling?"

"You're patient, for one," I said as I drew aimless patterns over his pectorals. "You never rush right into the sex unless we're both just feeling incredibly horny. You concentrate on me completely, like it's a compulsion. You're generous to the point of nearly being unfair. It's almost like you're not satisfied unless I've gotten off two or three times a day, and that's incredibly rare. I love that it doesn't bother you that I'm sort of shy at times. You feed off of it. You like making me confront how I feel about you and what you're doing to me. You're not ashamed of reciprocating your attraction to me. You're probably the only lover I've ever had who can read me perfectly every time, thanks to how perceptive you are. You're a true gentleman deep down, even if you are a borderline sexual deviant."

Loki laughed a little. "That might be the kindest thing a lady has ever said to me."

"You're welcome, stud." I caught his face between my hands and drew him down to me, kissing him deeply. I drew back just a hair and whispered, "You're beautiful, Loki."

His pupils dilated. A rolling growl spilled from between his lips as he shoved me flat to the bed and straddled me. His hands seized my knees and he spread them enough to pin both to the mattress. He lunged up my body, stealing a kiss as he jerked his hips enough to drive his cock inside me. He swallowed my scream and circled once with his hips before drawing every hard inch out of me. I scrambled to grab onto something as he pumped back into me again, filling me so completely, exactly where and how I wanted him. My fingernails left angry red marks over his chest and he purred as I clawed at his pale, perfect skin in between each deep, hard, slow thrust. God, he was destroying me this way. I couldn't think straight. The pleasure invaded every hidden crevice of my body. Sweat beaded between my breasts, along my throat, over my stomach, adding heat and friction to his succulent movements. I could hear myself whimpering softly, gently, on every odd breath, keening with need as my inner walls tightened around his cock one minute at a time.

Loki slid his knees forward until he practically towered over me, changing the angle of his thrusts, the tip of his cock striking my spot every time he vanished inside me. I couldn't help it. I screamed his name and clung to his forearms, lifting my hips to help him fuck me harder, surrendering to his body, his will, his sex. "Ah! Loki, please, oh God, _fuck_ , I'm gonna come, baby, please!"

"Come," he whispered. "Come for me, darling."

He hit just the right spot. My spine arched and the words flew out of me unbidden. "Oh God, I love you, Loki. I love what you do to me. I love the way you make me feel, baby."

He shuddered hard. "I love no one and nothing as much as I love you, my sweet girl."

Loki let go of my legs and sank down to meet me, slipping his fingers into my hair to draw my head back as he kissed me and released us both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, but for real, this should be the last chapter. If I make anything else, it'll be a sequel fic. THIS TIME I MEAN IT OKAY BYE.


End file.
